Wow! This is landing in your inbox as we arrive back home after 2 weeks road tripping through 3 states of Aus to spend a week in Qld. It was a lot of km's.
As I reflect on the time away and all the moments and memories made (there are many!), I find my nervous system is still needing some support. Having spent the better part of 3 days confined to the car, it's craving some solitude and silence.
But what has been my biggest learning and take away from this trip?
It’s this: "We have a sensitive soul in our family and parenting him is my greatest challenge, but in the process is where I'm able to meet more of myself."
It’s not been an easy journey for me to make the statement above. There's fear of judgement and much questioning of my own 'stuff'... "Is it him, or is it my parenting?" and "Is it a necessary label or way of referring to him and his experience of the world?"
And whilst I still grapple with those questions, one thing I do know is:
Moment by moment. It's important to parent the child in front of you.
Not what I think he should be doing.
Not how I, or society, think he should be behaving or responding to me.
Not compare him against what his peers or others are doing, saying, behaving.
And over the past 2 weeks my parenting has been both messy and imperfect.
Examples include:
The time the boys & I were standing on the rocks watching the hectic waves crashing and then getting completely soaked by one. (Dom captured the whole thing on video).
Both boys were screaming, running, full flight energy.
Dom and I trying hard not to laugh.
Feelings of ‘fuck that was stupid and irresponsible’ as I held onto my youngest’s shirt from fear of him being completely washed off the rock face!
Getting down to safety and not doing a fabulous job of holding the emotions and experience for the boys. (Particularly our eldest who was in complete sensory overwhelm and with survival energy pulsing through his body.)
And then there was the absolute shit show that the return car trip became. After an interrupted sleep we left Qld before the sun came up. Travelling with some seriously overtired boys in the car was fuel for a really really big rupture between us all.
Although hindsight of course always offers us so much insight, I was absolutely not proud of that experience.
Later we were able to repair with Mr 6 and it offered us moments to have some conscious discussion around what his needs are and how we can better show up to support them.
Of course there have been epic experiences and moments that we have all relished in. I’ve found myself in deep awe, with tears welling at the gratitude of life, a number of times. Soul Polaroids etched into my heart forever.
One thing I've noted about the time away is the presence I've felt to life and the day to day moments.
Being more in my body and attuning to my needs allows me more capacity to be that for my boys.
If, like me, you value parenting the child in front of you, allowing them to fully express themselves in all the magic and messy ways it is to be a human, stay tuned and make sure you’re following on my socials.
The next few months I’m embarking on some study to deepen my understanding of the nervous system, incorporating somatic (body-based) practices and perspectives into my parenting work and I’ll be sharing more as I go.
To follow me on socials
With love and connection,
Emily xxx
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